Early Morning Jumble

I've become increasingly frustrated with life lately. I find myself wanting to do so much better- setting goals, forming ambitions, promising myself to make something of what I've been given. But it seems like the time to do something about it just slips away. Every day after work I'm either too exhausted to care, rushing off to do something I probably don't want to in the first place, or going out with Dennis even though I know I should be at home doing something more rudimentary like homework or studying (even now, I'm putting off the homework I should've taken the time to do over the whole weekend).

What's the answer to this? Cut out some sleep so that I have more time at night? If I do that, I'm just going to get moody and angry and fall asleep even more in my classes. Quit my job? Gladly. Except that Dennis is planning to leave a couple days before Christmas, meaning that I'm going to have to stay at least a little longer until they hire someone else. Plus I would have to find another job, which could be difficult in January, and if I'm going to start doing some freelance photography as I've started planning to, I'm going to need money to pay for a small studio. So what can I do? Start sluffing school? I wish. I wish so badly I didn't have school, or at least had work release or something. The problem is that they force you to go to attendance school, so that wouldn't do me any good, and I've never been very good at making up work missed anyway.

In seminary my teacher encourages us to spend five minutes in prayer, and a few minutes besides that in scripture study. In english, my teacher says we should be spending at least half an hour a day reading. In yearbook, we're supposed to spend an hour outside of regular class time doing something yearbook oriented. In math, we're expected to re-read each lesson and do our homework before we come back for our next class. This all sounds great in theory, and I'm sure it would do wonders for my character... but where's the time?

I suppose I'm just over thinking things. I'm like my mother. I worry too much. I need to just put my head down and concentrate on the here and now, and in a couple of weeks this rough spot will be over. By the end of January the store will have hired and trained someone new (hopefully), I'll have enough money to start up a makeshift studio, and I can take a break from work for a couple of months until summer when businesses start hiring again.

Until then... well, I've got my friends, my mom, and Dennis to get me through, I suppose.